Thursday, 30 September 2010

Extinguished - Magpie Tale #34

Magpie Tales hosts a weekly writing prompt, the challenge is
to write a small vignette or poem using the photo below as your inspiration.

E X T I N G U I S H E D

The night will sweep in unannounced, for the lantern will not be lit tonight.

No warm glow to shine in the unforgiving windows, no gentle warmth to kindle hope.

The moths will bump and fizzle elsewhere, they will not meet their doom here tonight.

The porch will be dark and its emptiness will ring and echo like a cavern. . . and homecomings will be forgotten.

It will be cold and unwelcoming here tonight.

And the path that leads to our door will not be lit by the liquid yellow pools that declared the love that waited inside the cold stone of what was once a home.

And the gate will not open and shut with a satisfying click, and the rest of the world will not be left outside the fence.

No, not tonight.
.

27 comments:

Abhilasha-The Desire said...

Left me panting... So cold yet so full of emotions... Beautiful !!

nimaruichi said...

Ah, the loss & the longing!

Jingle said...

beautiful sentiments captured in your tale.
well constructed work.

gautami tripathy said...

This has very good flow, The feelings, emotions, the longings..

doomed if I do, doomed if I don't

rashmi said...

Longing...beutifully said..

David said...

Again, your description of a scene, is vivid as it engages the senses.
"The moths will bump and fizzle elsewhere, they will not meet their doom here tonight".
That is amazing.

The unlit lamp left you cold too, I see. This scene you painted sent a chill up my spine.

Berowne said...

Awfully well written -- beautiful.

Book Bird Dog said...

So sad. Lovely Magpie.

Leo said...

amazing.. left me wanting to read more.. lots of emotions, flow! great Magpie!

My Magpie

dana said...

Beautifully expressed and to think...I wasn't depressed a moment ago, but now? ...arghhh

Still beautiful though.

RavenQuills said...

I loved the flow of this piece and how many emotions were packed into its lines. I could really feel the longing and the feeling of loss.

Beautiful writing!

Rogue said...

Cold and unforgiving. Perhaps the dissappointed thoughts of a jilted lover? Quite excellent this. Enjoyed it immensely!

Tumblewords: said...

A powerful piece - I love it!

Jim Swindle said...

Beautifully written. It's sad, but pleasingly.

brokenpenwriter said...

Such sadness described by what "won't" be... Seeing how much is missing; how much is lost, makes this piece all the more poignant in it's grief. You even set the season by the missing moths. Carefully and very cleverly written. Great Magpie piece.

Pauline said...

Reading this I wanted to put my head down and just weep. Beautifully wrought words.

ana said...

"And the gate will not open and shut with a satisfying click, and the rest of the world will not be left outside the fence." - my favorite lines!

Reminds me of Miss Havisham's house.

Reflections said...

Wonderful use of the senses and playing off of the cold elements of longing.

kathi harris said...

That is so sad.

Sender D. said...

The moths will bump and fizzle elsewhere... what a fabulous line. Great write here... Love and Light, Sender

Brian Miller said...

wow...this had a marvelous flow to it...and a nice punch as well...great magpie...

signed...bkm said...

Nice write...ringing in the emptiness of what was....amazing how cold a place can become without emotion....bkm

Rene/ Not The Rockefellers said...

very dark
but I do sense a crack of light under a doorsill

Carrie Burtt said...

Susannah i love the imagery and power in this poem...you are such an amazing poet! :-)

Jennifer said...

Oh - "the night will sweep in unannounced..." how often has that happened?

Beautiful job Susannah.

willow said...

I love the line "the gate will not open and shut with a satisfying click". Beautiful piece.

Susannah said...

Thanks everyone for taking the time to read and for the great comments. Much appreciated!

Susannah :-)

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