Thursday, 2 September 2010

Too Late - Magpie Tales # 30

http://magpietales.blogspot.com hosts a weekly writing prompt, write a small vignette or poem using the photo below as your inspiration. This is mine. . .

T O O L A T E
Just one bite.

That's what started it.

The whole avalanche of feelings that roared up from the tight knot in her stomach, banging and echoing like thunder in her chest as her breath came thick and fast.

She could feel the scream coming before she heard it. Her throat tight, constricted, she kept swallowing and swallowing, trying to force it back down to that place inside her where it had lived for years.

But it was too late...

This time she could not silence the voice that had been kept too long in the dark.

Too late.

Too late.

Too late.

Blood pumping, throbbing through her head, her vision blurred.

Too late.

Too late.

Too late.

She could hold it no longer, she felt the gate at her throat finally open and she threw back her head and when the scream came it was like a howl, powerful and primal.

He recoiled in horror, pushed back, assaulted by all that sound contained.

He was still chewing.

Unable to swallow it now.

He knew that in taking that bite out of her apple he had just handed her the final straw.
.

22 comments:

Kristen Haskell said...

Oh boy have I felt that before! Great job!

Carrie Burtt said...

I have experienced that....wonderfully written Susannah! :-)

dana said...

And just like that, *snap*! It has happened to the best of us. Thank you for letting me know that every time the toilet seat is left up, or another cabinet door is ajar, I can throw my head back and scream like a baboon.

Elizabeth said...

Why does the full understanding always come too late? Love your mag and the building up to that scream, I could hear it.

Elizabeth

Suz said...

wowie wow
you are on a roll!
and I've known this feeling too
by the way

-suz

Stafford Ray said...

'He recoiled in horror' Clearly he had no idea the 'last straw' had arrived. Brilliant poem, a testament to lack of communication!

Tumblewords: said...

It's always too late! :) Love the tension in this -

Marilyn said...

Hmmm that one bite was the last straw. Once my husband ate my whole cream bun!!

Jinksy said...

I like a story with a bit of bite to it... :)

Helen said...

Intense Magpie ... loved the 'Gate at her throat' imagry ....

willow said...

I know that last straw well. Great Magpie!

Brian Miller said...

oh...dont mess with others food...i am a little fearful of what comes next...nice mag!

Sue J said...

I like the pace of this one. Great Magpie.

kathew said...

perfect! The epic "I gotta scream" moment!

Jingle said...

clever one,
beautiful job!

spacedlaw said...

The cheek! I'd have his head off in a moment.

xoxymoronsx said...

That was wonderfully written. Thanks for the great read.

Patience said...

simple things sure can push one right over the edge, cant they? great magpie.

Maya said...

:) must have been good fun writing it i'm sure... almost like letting out that scream in words...

Susannah said...

Thanks everyone for your great comments. :-)

...and Dana I loved the imagery of "I can throw my head back and scream like a baboon." LOL

Caty said...

I have felt this! Terrific write

Tina said...

I totally get this. Wonderful. Thanks for stopping by and your comment @ Life is Good. I appreciate it.

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