Saturday, 4 September 2010

That Night - Saturday Centus week 18

Week 18 of Saturday Centus this weeks prompt is to use up to 100 words (not including the prompt) using the line It was a dark and stormy night. Here's mine. . .

That Night
The air was jagged with unspoken things, it made her catch her breath as they avoided eye contact in the rapidly shrinking room. She caught his tight jawed reflection in the misted window pane and the candles flickered in the icy air.

The sharp knock cut into the atmosphere echoing around the newly silent walls. He tipped back his head as he drained his glass and in seeming slow motion he walked over and opened the door. It was a dark and stormy night out there, very fitting she thought, as the room swam around her and the wind howled and rattled the window panes...
.

17 comments:

Terra said...

oh my goodness...where is the leading? I am so curious - Part 2?

Bookie said...

Oh my, this is good! Such atmosphere, great word choices.

pallavi said...

Loved the narration! Vivid, almost disturbing!

Viki said...

This was very, very intriguing. You really left me wanting to know more about these people. Good Centus.

5thsister said...

Very strange indeed...who was at the door? Why was he tight jawed and why was the room swimming around her. I imagine a lot of animosity in that "icy air" but I need to know if there will be a part 2.

Sue said...

Okay! Let's hear the rest...

=)

Cheryl said...

Vivid, evocative, and slightly unnerving. Nice take on the prompt.

jfb57 said...

Wow! Miss Matlock will so SO pleased because this is great creative writing!! Envious of your talent!

Jenny said...

Hooray!

You are the winner of an extra 100 words!

Come back and tell the rest of this story.

I need to know what is happening.

OK. There isn't really an extra word giveaway. But darn. I wish there was.

Great visualization. Wonderfully tight writing.

Thank you for linking.

I think.

I think my arms might get tired from just hanging, though.

Sigh.

My name is PJ. said...

Nice imagery.

Ames said...

My goodness. You should continue on. I like to know what's going to happen next! Excellent use of the prompt!~Ames

Tgoette said...

Well done! You set quite an interesting and dramatic scene! Like others I'm curious where this store is leading! Good job!

Susannah said...

Thanks everyone for taking the time to read and leave a comment!

Sorry for leaving you all in suspense like that! :-)

Malisa said...

"The air was jagged with unspoken things"...what a wonderful opening! Your words created such a chilly atmosphere! Thanks for a great read! I am anxious to know more!

I just posted two assignments on one post. I'm bad, but visit me anyway!

Malisa

Kat said...

Beautifully captured atmosphere, you can feel the tension with every word. I hope that you plan on continuing this, the suspense is killing me!

RockiBottom said...

I want more! Beautiful, descriptive writing.

~Lissa said...

Your vivid words made me feel like I was there which made it all the more suspenseful. Great job!

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