Thursday, 16 September 2010

Shifting Sand - Magpie Tales #32

http://magpietales.blogspot.com hosts a weekly writing prompt, the challenge is
to write a small vignette or poem using the photo below as your inspiration.

. . . S h i f t i n g S a n d . . .

The kitchen was her much longed for shiny dream... all polished granite worktops and artfully shaped taps delicately hovering over a sink so new she hardly dared use it.

She didn't want water splashes ruining that perfect surface. It had suddenly seemed very important that she shouldn't, mustn't do anything to mar its gleaming newness.

She perched on one of the new impossibly high kitchen breakfast bar stools that she had yearned for while poring over the brochure, they had looked so beautiful almost like sculptures and 'just perfect for the space' but under her ample bottom it felt spindly and unwelcoming.

She surveyed her new domain from her teetering vantage point and when she noticed how the slant of sunlight bought out little glittering flecks of quartz in the granite, she felt a real rush of joy... but just as quickly her mood plummeted and her heart fell like a stone as she noticed the crumbs...

She knew she was being irrational as soon as the prickling tears began, but he had known that she hadn't used the toaster yet - she hadn't wanted to right away, they could have cereal for breakfast she thought, just until.... until it felt ok for her to use it.

He must have deliberately made himself toast to spite her before he left for work. She fought back the sobs as she carefully swept the crumbs into her hands and took them over to the bin. It was proving too much for her and she visibly crumpled as she pressed the stylish button that opened the lid to the most beautiful bin she had ever seen and realised that she didn't want to put anything in it.

She held onto the door frame with one hand, the other clung grimly to the crumbs as she made a snap decision and headed outside into her neglected garden and opened her clammy hand and brushed the three tiny crumbs onto the grass.

.

27 comments:

senderupwords said...

This is interesting. I'm not quite sure what to say. I like it but I can't put my finger on why! Does that make sense? Love and Light, Sender

Maya said...

i can almost feel her nerves!!! :) :) is there going to be part II to this too?

kathew said...

sometimes a "perfect world" ain't so perfect. This says it all.

Abhilasha-The Desire said...

Poor sensitive woman... hope she learns to 'work' in the kitchen as well... Nice mag

Elizabeth said...

Actually like this a lot. It captures that have to have drive and its sometime companion: as long as its new, its perfect. Like a dress purchased, a very special dress that never gets worn because the occasion is never perfect enough for it. Or the all white living room that no one is allowed to inhabit.

Elizabeth

gautami tripathy said...

Very detailed. Great story..

timeless flies search for fries

David said...

I like this. It is comical in it's description of people whom I have met. They've always got that special room with beautiful furniture and carpets, all covered up to protect the newness of it all. It's their souls that are dusty.

Jinksy said...

OCD rules, it seems...

Stafford Ray said...

So sad but so common. Poor girl, wearing so much guilt and lack of self esteem she has less presence in the world than her kitchen bits and pieces. That will all change in time and the guilt will go after the hundredth scratch!

Lyn said...

Very different..maybe her getting everything she wanted, leaves her with nothing to look forward to..Materialism??

Tumblewords: said...

I really enjoyed this piece - it's portrayed the woman so clearly with your well-chosen words and imagery!

Myrna R. said...

Somehow I connect with the feelings in this piece.

Well written.

Rene/ Not The Rockefellers said...

I know people like this, in fact...and they never have company :)

Rene

willow said...

Oh, gosh I know several OCD women just like this. Sad, really. Great write.

spacedlaw said...

Enjoyable story and I find myself rolling my eyes when thinking about your character's plea.

Friko said...

Golly, this is a good description of OCD behaviour.
How sad.

ninotaziz said...

Fantastic write! Capturing raw emotions to the 't'.

Kristen Haskell said...

Fantastic that you captured so perfectly either the obsurdity or illness to OCD. It is so sad to be this caught up.

kathi harris said...

Wow! Sometimes it's not gd 2 have smthing 2 perfect, becuz u might not want 2 use.

Systematic Weasel said...

Interesting take on the prompt! Great post! =)

Brian Miller said...

i lik eyour unique take on the prompt..she carries so much it is paralizing at times...nice magpie!

C.M. Jackson said...

I think the neglected garden contrasted against the perfect kitchen makes for a great story--here's hoping you continue --great magpie!

Lydia said...

Oh, simply delightful!

Fireblossom said...

First, I want to tell you that I always love your comments on my magpies. Thank you for them! And including the link to yours makes it so easy to track back. I love that.

Now, the piece. How sad to be crippled this way, and I have been closely related to women who were. That said, people who design those high stools should be soundly beaten with them. I went to the local Appelbee's and practically needed a ladder. We were not amused.

Carrie Burtt said...

Susannah this is an amazing piece...i love it! :-)

Jennifer said...

Excellent character study Susannah. It reminded me of my (now departed) mother in law. She wasn't OCD. She was a farm wife and had never had any new furniture throughout her married life, until after her husband and passed and she saved and bought herself an entire living room suite and dining room suite, and white carpet to go under it. It was heaven for her - but every piece of soft furniture, and the carpet were covered with towels, so as to keep them nice. But really she never saw it "nice" because it was always covered with towels.

Anyway, great job pal.

~T~ said...

Reminds me of me, once upon a time. I wanted to keep my Rubik's cube perfectly set, to only mix it up in ways I could solve. Boring, huh? Now I have beautiful granite countertops, and I find the crumbs pretty easy to ignore.

Vividly written!

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