Saturday, 23 October 2010

This Story - Inspired by Saturday Centus

Week 25 of Saturday Centus the prompt is to use up to 100 words (not including the prompt) using the line "this is the scariest story I've ever heard"

T H I S...S T O R Y

Autumn wraps itself around me like a cloak.

The spent leaves, falling, illuminated shards of stained glass, gently swirling.

Firebrand fingers touch the ground where you walk, tracing your steps.

The long shadows, stark and blatant as you grasp my cold hand and speak words that fall from your gentle lips like bombs, detonating on impact with my open heart.

You are going to a far off land and I must stay here alone.

In the vast space that opens in the silent tick of these chilling seconds, I realise that this is the scariest story I've ever heard...

and I fall into your arms like a stone.

(Exactly 100 words without the prompt)

27 comments:

Deborah said...

Absolutely brilliantly written, every word is just wonderful!!

Koby said...

Sad to think that this happens all the time...I enjoyed your vivid imagery.

Jackie said...

Hmmm sounds like someone is going to miss em very much as he goes off to war . That was very good .

Bookie said...

Excellent imagery! Nice job for sure.

jeff campbell said...

Inspired writing...gorgeous, evocative...Peace

noexcuses said...

Wonderful use of the prompt. I loved every word you wrote. My heart aches for you.

Teresa said...

Wow. Absolutely brilliant!

Well done.

Sue said...

That IS a scary story, for sure.

Creative take on the prompt.

=)

Viki said...

Wow, this is an amazingly haunting story. I can feel the pain that is involved with someone going away. Good job.

Tracy said...

brilliantly written

gautami tripathy said...

Beautiful writing..

perception

Ames said...

I hate war! It leaves behind so much devastation.~Ames

Jenners said...

Gorgeous. Lovely. And horribly scary. Very well done.

My name is PJ. said...

You took us there; very well done!

Kat said...

This was beautifully done, you used the prompt in a totally unexpected way. And this really is more scary than ghosts and goblins, isn't it? Kat

cj Schlottman said...

What wonderful imagery! This story evoked beauty as well as pain. Great centus!

And thanks for the reminder.....cj

June Freaking Cleaver said...

Great job...you rocked the prompt!

Tina said...

loved the imagination you used in this sad story.

Tina from Mummy Diaries

jfb57 said...

Beautiful writing! Thank you for sharing such a lovely piece.

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

This is wonderfully written. It's beautiful and powerful.
xoRobyn

Terra said...

beautiful, sad and well written a perfect combination

Cheryl said...

Beautiful and heartbreaking.

Tgoette said...

I echo all previous sentiments. Truly an inspired piece! Excellent!

Anna said...

Sad, but beautifully written. Good use of the prompt.
Well done!
Best wishes,
Anna
Anna's & Sara's SC-post Week 25

Jenny said...

Good golly girl.

This post was most definitely a TREAT!

You are one of the most vivid writers. You express emotion so purely and it always feels like some of the words you stole right from my heart.

Thanks for linking.

Have a BOOtiful Halloween.

Susannah said...

Thanks everyone for your great comments. :-)

Jingle said...

heartfelt lines.
well done.

xx

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