Saturday, 16 October 2010

Neither Trick Nor Treat - Saturday Centus

Week 24 of Saturday Centus the prompt is to use up to 100 words (not including the prompt) using the line "Trick or treat!" they shouted as the door opened"

Neither Trick Nor Treat

Trick or treat!" they shouted as the door opened...

He watched the flickering shadows play across their eager little faces, ghoulish disguises not able to mask the innocence of their expectation.

Sparkling eyes still trusting life to hand out good things whenever they asked, he could not bear the thought of what he knew life would do to that.

It broke his heart.

The knocks, the hurts, the shine that would tarnish.

He longed to make them hardy, like plants he overwintered in his garden.

So he gently shook his head as he looked them straight in the eyes and he mouthed 'go away'.

Then he shut the door.
(exactly 100 words)

17 comments:

Jackie said...

Oh my what a grumpy old man life hast made . It really doth sucketh .

Kat said...

Goodness, what a back story this poor man must have. What a different take on the prompt, really well written. Kat

5thsister said...

I found this terribly sad. Well done but sad none the less.

Ames said...

must be a lonely grumpy old man that needs a hug.~Ames

Sue said...

This is good!

He's a Halloween grinch, and I sense the reasons run deep.

Well done.

=)

Viki said...

I wish he just didn't answer the door. He sounds like a lonely man with a not so great life. Good job though lol.

Judie said...

Oh, my! It is just soooo sad! Poor fellow. But GOOD writing!!

Koby said...

I love it when words make me "feel", yours did today. Thanks!

Teresa said...

That certainly gives a new perspective of that grumpy old man. I really enjoyed this one.

Deborah said...

Just brilliant, very well done!!

Terra said...

I think that man needs a hug.

Tgoette said...

Very well done! A powerfully written story with great depth of feeling. Bravo!

noexcuses said...

Sad story, but great writing. You had me wanting to know what he would do!

~Lissa said...

Great job! I always hated trick or treating to doorsteps like that but you humanized him really well and provided some understanding for this situation. Very well written.

cj Schlottman said...

"Go away." You nailed it with that line. What a sad and damaged man he must be. Great depth in so many words.

This is really good..........cj

Jenny said...

I took this another way in my brain. I think he was trying to do them a kindness to prepare them for the time when the shine would tarnish.

My husband and I have this discussion all the time.

Does it truly prepare children for what the world often is when we love and nurture them so well?

And how can we prepare them for the bad when our propensity as parents it to protect and nurture?

I really enjoyed the use of this prompt.

I wrote my own back story here...and it was tragic.

Susannah said...

Thanks everyone for taking the time to read and for your great comments. :-)

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