Sunday, 5 June 2011

Steamy

My first time participating at a wordling whirl.
I am afraid the words triggered something rather....

S T E A M Y

I spin and undulate
ignoring the murmurs
of my conscience

immersed in this moment
nothing in common
but our lust

my gaudy heart
in your purple glow
sparkles unafraid

as it burrows deep down
into the inky abyss
of your love

.
(This poem was written using these words: murmurs, inky, purple, undulate, abyss, glow, gaudy, unafraid, common, heart, burrows.)

23 comments:

Mary said...

A wonderfully sensual write!

Anonymous said...

I like it! And I like the briefness. No wallowing in the moment but a quick statement of the emotion...suits the piece.
margo

Susannah said...

Thanks Mary and Margo, it was my first try at this and I found it great fun. I hope to try again next week.

Good to see you both and thanks for visiting and reading. :-)

flaubert said...

Yes, Susannah, sensual and so well written.

Pamela
ps nice to see you over at Brenda's wordle site:)

Peggy said...

Wow I think this is excellent. Great take on the words that flows so smoothly. You inspire me to try harder and do it again.

Elizabeth said...

Really like what you did with these words, where you took them, and how well you made them work to your own purpose. Good writing,

So glad to see you here,

Elizabeth

Anonymous said...

I am impressed! Passion and wordles aren't usually synonymous, but this one - wow!

Susannah said...

Thanks everyone for your kind comments (and warm welcome.)

I shall definitely be joining in again next week. :-)

Good to see you all.

Mr. Walker said...

Impressed at how concise your poem is. I like "the inky abyss / of your love" - I've seen relationships like that (and was in one myself long ago). Welcome to a wordling whirl.

Richard

Mike Patrick said...

This is great. For a first try, it's amazing. Who could have guessed?

barbara said...

Nicely done. Short ones rarely make sense, but you did it, and with grace.

irene said...

Yes very sensual use of the words. Well done.

Anonymous said...

Welcome to wordling! Nicely done.

~Paula

Susannah said...

Thanks for your comments and for making me feel so welcome.

It is good to meet you all. :-)

Traci B said...

Great use of the words - you paint a vivid picture we all can understand. Welcome to the wordle whirlers. :)

Susannah said...

Thank you Traci. :-)

brenda w said...

There's a darkness conscience brings at the start and then the gaudy lust spins. This is lush, Susannah. I'm so glad you found us. A flu bug found me Saturday, I generally comment a bit sooner. Thanks for playing with the wordle. I love your results.
~Brenda

Susannah said...

Thanks Brenda, it was great fun. I shall be back next week. :-)

Henry Clemmons said...

Yowsers, I loved it. Nothing wasted, lived for evry word. Very visual and passionate. Great write. Nice to meet you.

Cathy said...

Love it

Susannah said...

Henry, Cathy, thank you, it is good to meet you both. :-)

Isabel said...

great use of the words. lovely

Christine Gail said...

I love how you spun the words here.

Christy

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