an illusion, that rattles
these internal walls.
Waiting for redemption.
Waiting for the holy jangle
of long forgotten keys.
Harvested hope, splinters.
Tainting the free running fear
that irrigates this fortress.
A weed among flowers, shines.
No longer part of the crowd,
an exception, an example. . .
to pierce our preconceptions,
to make new our jaded vision.
It stains the water with light. . .
to illuminate the darkness,
and allow these thick walls
to sprout voices, and speak.
Written for the . . .
Sunday Whirl Wordle 15
I used all the words. :-)
16 comments:
Brilliant use of the wordle words! I love "Waiting for the holy jangle
of long forgotten keys" and "Harvested hope, splinters, Tainting the free running fear that irrigates this fortress." Spectacular images!
great response to the challenge ~
like these lines:
"Waiting for the holy jangle
of long forgotten keys"
Love this Susannah.So many great lines: "holy jangle of long forgotten keys," "fear that irrigates this fortress," "to pierce our preconceptions," and I could go on. You have sprouted a fantastic voice, thanks for speaking,
Elizabeth
Susannah, occasionally I read a poem which makes me want to write a dozen poems because of unique lines, lines that demand they be spun off into poems of their own. This is one of those wonderful poems: Waiting for the holy jangle of long forgotten keys. Harvested hope. Tainting the free running fear. Allow these thick walls to sprout voices and speak.
Wow! Any of these individual lines could garner a poem, but when combined . . . .
"to sprout voices and speak". WOW! One powerful poem! Good one, Susannah.
Yes, there's a flower in every weed. I really enjoyed this... especially:
to pierce our preconceptions,
to make new our jaded vision.
Susannah, I like what you did with the words. Sometimes there is redemption, sometimes there is not.... It is wonderful when light DOES illuminate darkness!
Susannah, your mastery of the wordle words has produced a gem of a poem - every line is important alone and in context. Bravo.
excellent writing...loved it :)
Wonderful sentiments,
No longer part of the crowd,
an exception,
took us to a powerful ending.
Thanks everyone for your kind comments, they are much appreciated. :-)
This was one of those that almost wrote itself, it is wonderful and very exciting to see what the wordle words spark!
Good to see you all.
Susannah x
Fantastic poem, Susannah! I love the idea of hope tainting fear. :)
Some excellent phrasing, as everyone has said :)
It's great to get all the words in one poem, isn't it? I don't always manage it.
Excellent phrasing, the repetition of "waiting" is perfect, I can almost hear that "holy jangle." I love "It stains the water with light..." all the way to your superb ending. I'm home, reading poetry. Thanks for writing it!
Brenda
Thanks very much for your kind words everyone. I was quite pleased with how this one turned out. :-)
Susannah, I loved how the weed among the flowers got a spotlight. And the "holy jangle of long-forgotten keys," yes, yes. That is an excellent turn of phrase. Reminds me of the old church sexton and his keyring - misplaced after he retired. Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/08/02/outstanding-what-sun-scribblings/
Post a Comment