Sunday, 18 September 2011

Knowing when to speak. . .

You speak of sheep.
The modern man asleep at the wheel.

While you, with your vigor and verve,
have your ready muse, pouring forth
from your elegant and tapered fingertips.

You do not see yourself, in the mirror of the parry
and thrust that you use to strengthen your ego
and reinforce the satin thread of your diatribe.

And as I walk your book lined corridor,
to the green walled den, that has your smell
and your superiority stamped onto its silk lined walls.

I yearn to tell you that an opal does not get its fire by learning,
that some things intrinsic and raw, have a power
that intellect has long forgotten.

But my eye is caught by a moth, fluttering,
blustering against the cold hard glass. Shut off
from the majestic trees and the moon, rising
like a great silver disk in the violet sky.

And I see it as an omen,
an oracle speaking in hushed tones,
talking of a deeper truth.

And it cuts so deep, that when
I open your slow and creaking door
and see that there is no light.

And that your studious eyes
are roaming my face like a map.
Looking for my lips. Searching
for the x that marks the spot
where the treasure is buried.

I swallow my tongue, smile,
and don't say a single word


Written for Wordle 22 at The Sunday Whirl

I so enjoy the wordle as it seems to push me to write things that are not anything I would write without their help. I find it fascinating and always look forward to seeing what story the next one brings hidden in its words. :-)

22 comments:

Deborah said...

WOW .... absolutely BRILLIANT!!!! I loved every word. :o)
I'm all oooooh....

Mary said...

I am trying to figure out how to feel about this person who has superiority stamped onto silk lined walls. Throughout the poem, I felt negative vibes, but then the ending seemed to lead me to a different conclusion. In any case, I read the poem a few times, enjoyed thinkingf about it.

Daydreamertoo said...

Ooooo... she doesn't like this person at all but... she can't resist the temptation...Lovely twist!
Great wordle!

lkkolp said...

Suspenseful and well-written with vivid images that seem to haunt.

~laurie

brenda w said...

The ending is so unexpected, and tasty. It made me go back and reread. My favorite stanza is the one that starts with "I yearn to tell you that an opal does not get its fire by learning..." This is a line I may borrow, if I can pull it out of my brain's filing system at just the right moment. :) The contrast of feeling to lust may lead to fiery passion...sometimes that's the only thing that matters.

Well constructed. Again, I love that the ending through me for a loop and made me reread. Brava!

Kerry O'Connor said...

I love to see the results of the Sunday Whirl. You have done amazing things with this quite disparate words.

I found this stanza to be very inspiring:

'I yearn to tell you that an opal does not get its fire by learning,
that some things intrinsic and raw, have a power
that intellect has long forgotten.'

annell said...

A wonderful tale woven in your lines. Full of mystery...

Mike Patrick said...

The whole poem was brilliant, but your handling of the 'opal' prompt was masterful. Kudos.

Janet said...

Your reasons for loving the wordles so perfectly verbalizes mine:) This is spectacular! The unexpected ending was such a thrill. I'm so glad to have 'met' you here:)

Eileen T O'Neill ..... said...

Susannah,
oh so powerful and gripping with a mysterious allure.

Eileen

magicinthebackyard said...

You have a new fan! Love this!

vivinfrance said...

This is an absolute wow of a poem. Brilliant use of the wordle words.

Ravenblack said...

Very interesting. I love the pace of it. The stanza with the moth stands out for me -- what it is suppose to represent, a mind trapped inside and cannot get to the wide world outside and fully experience what is meant for it to experience naturally. The last few stanzas leave it open for reader interpretation. Perhaps it shows promise that the person who is often so self confident is looking so searchingly at the narrator. Like this poem very much.

irene said...

Tantalising writing!

Mr. Walker said...

Susannah, so many thoughts stirred up by your poem, the complexity of your images. I love the stanza about the opal, the message of it, and then how soon it is abandoned for the next one, of the moth - and what that means. How much better to quit the parry and thrust and just listen - or kiss.

Richard

flaubert said...

Susannah, not much I can say, that hasn't already been said. This is beautifully evocative. Very nicely done.

Pamela

Elizabeth said...

Love the mystery that whispers through this one. And I agree, the wordles do seem to force us down new and unexplored paths. That might be why they are so popular. I like the wisdom gained with the poem, the insight found in a moth and the moon. And sometimes silence is an incredible weapon,

Elizabeth
http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/

Marianne said...

Your words are so beautiful. I read them over and over, to savor and enjoy them. I especially liked these stanzas, so brilliant:

I yearn to tell you that an opal does not get its fire by learning,
that some things intrinsic and raw, have a power
that intellect has long forgotten.

But my eye is caught by a moth, fluttering,
blustering against the cold hard glass. Shut off
from the majestic trees and the moon, rising
like a great silver disk in the violet sky.

And I see it as an omen,
an oracle speaking in hushed tones,
talking of a deeper truth.

Traci B said...

This is the stuff of gothic novels, full of foreboding, dark passion and the pull of temptation. Well done!

gautami tripathy said...

You did wonderfully well with the words!

while the instrument plays

Cathy said...

What incredible poem! did an excellent job with it.

Susannah said...

Thanks everyone for popping in and reading, I really appreciate your comments.

Susannah x

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