Tuesday 8 February 2011

Across The Street

Inspired by this weeks Magpie Tales and the photo below.

She wanted to hide, curl up in a ball and cover her head, away from prying eyes. Even the slant of light through the tiny gap in the curtains felt intrusive, abrasive to her need for retreat. She yanked it tightly shut, angry that light had wheedled its way in, she needed darkness and silence.

She was trying not to focus on the the wind as it whistled down the chimney, sounding first like an express train, then a scream. She didn't know for sure if the noises were in the room or inside her.
She had heard screams like that before.

The door was locked, she knew it. She had turned the key herself and tugged at the door to be sure. But still she fought against the need to walk back over the lurid carpet to check it again. It was a matter of moments before her bare feet padded across the room and she leant her weight up against the panelled door. Her face resting against its cool surface, the solidified paint runs magnified in close up.

She turned the handle and pulled hard. It was locked but the slight play on the handle bothered her. She rattled it, her mind turning to screwdrivers and loose screws. She picked up the wooden chair with the red upholstered seat and the fake brass tacks and lifted it an inch from the floor, and then as she had seen in the movies, she tilted it and jammed it up beneath the handle.

She knew that he was out there. Standing across the street, staring up at her window.
He would have his hands plunged deep into his pockets and be shuffling his feet to keep warm. He would be watching for a sign, a flicker of the curtains, her face at the window. He would be praying that she would open the front door and run across the empty street and into his arms.

But she couldn't.

Not yet.

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

I really enjoyed this! It left me wanting more... you have to write more... lol :o)You did a really great job creating the mood and atmosphere for this post!

Pat - Arkansas said...

You put an interesting twist on the 'man across the street.' Not what I expected. Well done.

Emily Young said...

Oh my. Does she ever go out to him? I want more!!

I felt like I was reading an excerpt from a novel... great job! I really love this sentence: "Even the slant of light through the tiny gap in the curtains felt intrusive, abrasive to her need for retreat."

Sarah said...

I feel bad for them both, but it seems like I should choose.

Great little story.

Louise said...

Great story and angle, well done.

Jinksy said...

Thank goodness time can be a great healer...

Unknown said...

You left me with lots of questions, which is, I suppose, a sign of a really well written short piece. More! More!

Deborah said...

So good, I didn't expect the end at all and at first I though it was a stalker, then obviously it wasn't! ... so what's going on? A great Magpie, well done! :o)

Trellissimo said...

Big decisions seem to be afoot...

Helena said...

I too, had visions of a stalker in my head. Great how the suspense builds up.....a kidnap perhaps....??

Friko said...

I expected her to be mad, hearing voices screaming.
Is she? Is he a figment of her imagination?

Kristen Haskell said...

It seems like instability to me. I am not sure which way to run, to or from...Nice magpie

Trulyfool said...

Susannah,

Definitely ominous. It cuts a few ways: ex-lover, potential lover, friend looking for forgiveness, rapist, a poor-man's Hannibal Lecter.

I like the choice!

Trulyfool

Tess Kincaid said...

Love the enigmatic element. Well done!

Fireblossom said...

Not YET? Oh my.

I love the detail of the dried paint runs.

Lolamouse said...

More!!! Didn't expect that twist at the end and now I want to know who this man is and what happens!

Tumblewords: said...

Intriguing piece!

Suko said...

Frightening mag! A great beginning for a thriller. . . .

rel said...

If you don't mind, Why not yet?
Nicely decorated stroy!
rel

The Blog of Bee said...

"Not yet".

It seems to me that she is angry, very angry with him and he is waiting for forgiveness.

Nicely mysterious.

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