Monday, 21 February 2011

A Million Tiny Pebbles inspired by Magpie Tales

Inspired by Magpie Tales No.54 and the photo below.

You have
fractured and distorted
the very ground beneath my feet.
Shale slips, rocks roll, and a million tiny pebbles
hurtle into the crevices created,
when you triggered the landslide.
The warping of my bedrock.
Careless words, contained explosions,
blasted the once solid earth,
into which I was planted and bloomed.
Now my roots lie exposed.
I am no longer tethered.
I am adrift, fragile, bent by
the sudden gust of your breath.
As you opened your mouth,
to say goodbye.

27 comments:

Kristen Haskell said...

Like a punch to the gut your poem knocks the wind out of of my sails. It is a wonderful poem of a penetrating and painful good-bye.

Brigid said...

Gorgeous piece, Susannah, bittersweet.
We are all on the same 'lost love' wavelength.

Donna B said...

Powerful and full of meat. Excellent magpie!

Reflections said...

Definitely bittersweet, but such a powerful piece. Knocks the breath right away, holds it a while linguering in the pain.

Suko said...

Very emotional and original work--terrific magpie!

Friko said...

This is very good, you got the essence of the picture and made it your own.

Kimberly said...

The truth and power behind this poems caught me off guard. I have been adrift many times before and your words captured that feeling perfectly.

Words Asunder said...

wow..very deep..great ending.

Kathe W. said...

ouch! Excellent!

Girl in My Own World said...

Wow! This is the bomb girl! Amazing on so many levels! Great write!!!!! :o)

Tumblewords: said...

Powerful imagery carries the reader slong through this ending. Wonderful work!

Rashmi said...

painfully wonderful......

Deborah said...

Just soo wonderfully written as always, brilliantly done.

Martin H. said...

I like this. Real loss can warp our bedrock.

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Helen said...

This has happened to me ... you described those emotions perfectly/painfully.

Chrissy said...

goodbyes are so hard...but love is still a risk worth taking...even if there is a chance we might become untethered. A powerful and beautiful write that hits the core!

Tess Kincaid said...

Lots of powerful emotion here. Great write!

signed...bkm said...

Powerful write that "warping my bedrock" the fountain of a relationship shattered...wonderful take on this prompt...bkm

rebecca said...

You hit a home run. The imagery is spectacular. Very well done.

Trellissimo said...

The warping of my bedrock.

Certainly you packed a punch...

Suz said...

Ah I say thank God for the liberation!
wonderful Susannah

Emily Young said...

I love the phrase "Shale slips, rocks roll." Your poem has a beautiful musical quality; it makes me want to read it aloud.

mamacheetah said...

I love your response to the prompt. Great image you've created.
I especially like "The warping of my bedrock."

Sue J said...

I love all the earthy references in this poem. Great Magpie.

Katherine said...

Loss truly rattles ones foundations..this was so befitting the picture prompt from Tess. Wonderful, wonderful Magpie!

Mary said...

Wow - great extended metaphor!

~T~ said...

I can feel it! Well done.

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