You havefractured and distorted
the very ground beneath my feet.
Shale slips, rocks roll, and a million tiny pebbles
hurtle into the crevices created,
when you triggered the landslide.
The warping of my bedrock.
Careless words, contained explosions,
blasted the once solid earth,
into which I was planted and bloomed.
Now my roots lie exposed.
I am no longer tethered.
I am adrift, fragile, bent by
the sudden gust of your breath.
As you opened your mouth,
to say goodbye.
27 comments:
Like a punch to the gut your poem knocks the wind out of of my sails. It is a wonderful poem of a penetrating and painful good-bye.
Gorgeous piece, Susannah, bittersweet.
We are all on the same 'lost love' wavelength.
Powerful and full of meat. Excellent magpie!
Definitely bittersweet, but such a powerful piece. Knocks the breath right away, holds it a while linguering in the pain.
Very emotional and original work--terrific magpie!
This is very good, you got the essence of the picture and made it your own.
The truth and power behind this poems caught me off guard. I have been adrift many times before and your words captured that feeling perfectly.
wow..very deep..great ending.
ouch! Excellent!
Wow! This is the bomb girl! Amazing on so many levels! Great write!!!!! :o)
Powerful imagery carries the reader slong through this ending. Wonderful work!
painfully wonderful......
Just soo wonderfully written as always, brilliantly done.
I like this. Real loss can warp our bedrock.
Poetry24…where news is the Muse
This has happened to me ... you described those emotions perfectly/painfully.
goodbyes are so hard...but love is still a risk worth taking...even if there is a chance we might become untethered. A powerful and beautiful write that hits the core!
Lots of powerful emotion here. Great write!
Powerful write that "warping my bedrock" the fountain of a relationship shattered...wonderful take on this prompt...bkm
You hit a home run. The imagery is spectacular. Very well done.
The warping of my bedrock.
Certainly you packed a punch...
Ah I say thank God for the liberation!
wonderful Susannah
I love the phrase "Shale slips, rocks roll." Your poem has a beautiful musical quality; it makes me want to read it aloud.
I love your response to the prompt. Great image you've created.
I especially like "The warping of my bedrock."
I love all the earthy references in this poem. Great Magpie.
Loss truly rattles ones foundations..this was so befitting the picture prompt from Tess. Wonderful, wonderful Magpie!
Wow - great extended metaphor!
I can feel it! Well done.
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