Cumbersome words, black and unwieldy,sharp and sticky, they set like cement,
hindering the fluid flow of my progress.
I am aware of the faint murmur of my answer
as it bypasses my senses and emerges fully formed
- tumbling haphazardly from my lips like rain.
And I want to run - full pelt - away from the intensity,
away from the looming insanity, the spitting shadows,
but inertia gone, my body is reluctant to move.
For I fear I may disturb the dense atmosphere,
I am afraid I may finally lose my place on the map. . .
a stray bullet ricocheting off the smoke stained walls.
So I stay put, fixed to the spot, petrified in my place.
Entranced by the slow motion movement of his mouth
as it carefully enunciates the words I never wanted to hear.
Written for the sunday whirl using the words below.
Image - Susannah Bec
20 comments:
You've captured an emotional moment being frozen to the spot.
We have all lost our position on the map at times and you captured it well.
Great read and a punch to the gut unexpected final line...
Sometimes it's hard to bite our tongues and keep on keeping on.
This captures that feeling of suppression so well. Great use of the wordle words.
Powerful emotion moves through your words, Susannah. You've captured fear, anxiety, being "fixed to the spot." Excellent write.
Susannah- So descriptive... love the unexpected ending.
Your description of this moment, and what happens to a person on one side of it, is vivid. I found myself reading the last two lines in slow motion.
My wordle feels like mine- but without the anxiety of feeling stuck. Great write.
Oh the words one never wanted to hear. I remember the feeling of those moments.
An intense and very satisfying wordle.
I think you have described the moments when I heard that loved ones were ill and were not going to be able to return home. You want to be able to react to be by their sides - instantly. Yet fear at the same time what you will find when you do arrive. That's what comes to my mind. Thank you.
loved the line about losing your place on the map...
Powerful write, Susannah, and a terrific use of the wordle. You've given us a picture of a conflict or confrontation, but left it vague enough to allow the imagination to fill in the details.
Oooh - very nice, terse throughout and a real zing at the end ... awful to lose your place on the map ...
Powerful, intense, emotional...I think I may run out of adjectives! Loved this.
Hi Susannah;
Wow. Very nice. I like the energy of this, the slow motion feel, and the unexpected ending.
This wordle was fun.
;)
http://taralinda.wordpress.com/2012/03/05/quelled/
Some how, I lost track of a friend. Some times, I wonder how, and why. Was it just two paths separating in the wilderness? They say, all roads lead to Rome. Maybe someday, we'll meet again at the Trevi fountain, both of us feeding the pigeons, we'll bump in to each other, and catch up.
True friends never really totally lose track of one another. ;-)
Someday, somewhere.
I will look out for you.
Wonderful to hear from you - hope all is well. x
Sending good vibes your way.
Back for another read........this captures EXACTLY the emotion of those moments. "Entranced by the slow motion movement of his mouth"......been there, kiddo.
Good to see you Sherry! x
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