NIGHT (dark) LOST
The church spire lunged up toward the heavens,piercing the clouds and making splinters of stars
that fizzled and dazzled in the blackness of night.
The shadowed cobbled walkways were now empty,
and midnight and its neon signs screamed of adventure,
making promises to all those who were lost and alone.
Long litter lined streets, stalked by loud youths and
too naked women, who criss cross the concrete like chalk.
This is no place for fearful souls who can not face the shadows.
Myriad headlights, cars rushing on their way to somewhere else,
except for those that slow crawl the circle of city streets,
looking for short skirts and street corners.
Sitting on this cold hard bench, amidst the take away cartons,
the drunken shouts, and the smell of stale urine in the air,
I close my eyes and try to remember who I am.
DAY (light) FOUND
I was fearful and lost,
alone and in need of adventure,the circle that I was walking was too small.
I paced the streets,
searching for something concrete,
I was looking for signs, looking for salvation.
Effervescent water splashed,
creating music in the cobbled courtyard,
the church spire towering like a needle sewing clouds.
I looked up at crows whirling,
acrobats in their blue sky playground
and I imagined they were calling out my name.
And the moment sparkled,
called on me to remember something,
something long forgotten or maybe never known.
Myriad doorways flung themselves open
and the muddy stream of my thoughts settled at last.
In that pure clear water was a perfect reflection of my face.
Written for this weeks wordle at The Sunday Whirl
I had trouble with this weeks wordle words!
Church and cobbled just didn't seem to flow into anything I wanted to write.
So I persisted and actually wrote three different pieces. I have put two of them in this post as I think (hope) that they work together.
As always even with words that make me stumble, I really enjoy the wordles.
- Susannah :-)
17 comments:
Both poems are riveting. Your use of words is inspiring and breath-taking! I was reading your blog last night for a little while under the spell of your beautifully woven poetry!
Thank-you!
Brilliant Susannah!! Love the contrast in dark and light!! The entire atmosphere coming alive in the second part while the first was crawling in the dark!! Wow!! Excellent!!
I liked both of your poems. Your first poem presented a vivid picture of an area of any city one might want to stay clear of after a certain hour. I can see it, smell it, almost taste it.
The second poem COULD actually be of that same area, but with a changed perspective. Open doorways, light, and clear water.
The view is different in the day.
Love the contrast of lost and found. The words called to us similarly.
~Paula
A different take on everything. Things do become so different in the light of day and in darkness.
Lovely picture-filled use of the prompt!
Susannah, these pieces complete each other. A cadence pulled me into the first piece, immediately engaging me in the scene you paint. It continues into the second piece. Including the image of spires anchors the pieces in something familiar. I love the image of one as "a needle sewing clouds."
These have a modern fairy tale feel to them. I can see both pieces illustrated.
This was a delightful stop!
Brenda
Enjoyed them both, Susannah... especially the second one.
lovely take.
Lovely! 'Looking for short skirts and street corners'. It says it all.
Absolutely exquisite and a perfect pairing .... Lost and Found works on so many levels...each and all shining....a prism of a pair! Kudos :)
Susannah, Both pieces compliment each other nicely. I had some trouble with the words as well.
Pamela
Oh, you worked at this. Lines like, "and too naked women, who criss cross the concrete like chalk," don't just stumble, lost, onto the page. I particularly like the details, exploring every sense, of lost, but then you polished it off with found. I wish my difficult writes came out like this.
cool: this is a modern William Blake styled pairing
love your modern take...
Thanks everyone for your comments, much appreciated. x
creating music in the cobbled courtyard i like very much.
i liked both of your poems very much.
The two pieces reminded me of the place I used to work. By day a place of eager exploration, and lots of adventures, but at night, not a place you would want to be, its face turned inside out. Which only means your poetry rings true. Fantastic use of the wordle words,
Susannah,
Elizabeth
I Loved these! What rich diction and energy in your metaphors. Very nice to read. Both are wonderful.
This one was my first wordle...;)
tara
http://taralinda.wordpress.com/
Post a Comment