tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2866329577695235177.post8326680726209997176..comments2023-09-04T09:31:46.467+01:00Comments on Panopticulated - writing when prompted to do so.: Girl in ExileSusannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09581993763700327953noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2866329577695235177.post-29431881207441759162011-08-13T06:24:24.867+01:002011-08-13T06:24:24.867+01:00Thanks Ella. :-)
Madhumakhi, I think you have sum...Thanks Ella. :-)<br /><br />Madhumakhi, I think you have summed it up very well. <br /><br />Good to see you both, I appreciate you stopping by and reading.Susannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09581993763700327953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2866329577695235177.post-70697662188471688442011-08-13T06:13:20.970+01:002011-08-13T06:13:20.970+01:00Makes me think of a woman who was forced to migrat...Makes me think of a woman who was forced to migrate elsewhere and she's now living a thankless life. Your poem brings out the harsh monotony of her life very well.madhumakhihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09624377766663002237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2866329577695235177.post-27900445557488105222011-08-13T04:55:19.061+01:002011-08-13T04:55:19.061+01:00I, too am impressed; such lovely imagery~ I really...I, too am impressed; such lovely imagery~ I really enjoyed your poem! Well Done~Ellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06070952447277684613noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2866329577695235177.post-8711976429501206012011-08-12T10:52:10.202+01:002011-08-12T10:52:10.202+01:00Thanks all, I appreciate you reading. It is good t...Thanks all, I appreciate you reading. It is good to see you. :-) xSusannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09581993763700327953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2866329577695235177.post-46406191972724824482011-08-12T03:57:12.500+01:002011-08-12T03:57:12.500+01:00Wow, you made fantastic use of the words in the wo...Wow, you made fantastic use of the words in the wordle and painted such a vivid portrait of your character. I am way impressed. Loved your process notes too. It's cool when a couple of words link up like that. The final stanza is amazing!Sherry Blue Skyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10769154286598233146noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2866329577695235177.post-17236239206934282112011-08-12T03:26:25.089+01:002011-08-12T03:26:25.089+01:00I love the image of the woman sweeping... sets the...I love the image of the woman sweeping... sets the perfect scene.Laurie Kolphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07494759781947881343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2866329577695235177.post-68894133144787476372011-08-12T03:14:59.424+01:002011-08-12T03:14:59.424+01:00deep and wise words.
well done,deep and wise words.<br />well done,Maxwell Mead Williams Robinson Barryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05532576755186051550noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2866329577695235177.post-7285710959487611272011-08-11T20:58:20.057+01:002011-08-11T20:58:20.057+01:00Susannah,
Words of great thought and yearning.
De...Susannah,<br /><br />Words of great thought and yearning.<br />Deeply emotional and searching.<br /><br />EileenEileen T O'Neill .....https://www.blogger.com/profile/03325632298717325699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2866329577695235177.post-24576633366099455192011-08-11T15:24:53.460+01:002011-08-11T15:24:53.460+01:00Thanks very much Kim. :-)Thanks very much Kim. :-)Susannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09581993763700327953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2866329577695235177.post-35765914992793767212011-08-11T14:29:18.410+01:002011-08-11T14:29:18.410+01:00Susannah,
This is superb. You used the whirl words...Susannah,<br />This is superb. You used the whirl words to create a succinct and true painting of one woman's life. Masterful. The piece grabbed me, showed me, made me feel her ennui. Well done.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12460881702249079009noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2866329577695235177.post-10860660572412830282011-08-10T10:18:56.626+01:002011-08-10T10:18:56.626+01:00Thanks very much Elizabeth. :-)Thanks very much Elizabeth. :-)Susannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09581993763700327953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2866329577695235177.post-46953002435143972222011-08-09T21:49:34.512+01:002011-08-09T21:49:34.512+01:00Susannah, my apologies for being late to come here...Susannah, my apologies for being late to come here. I really like the poem and also like the ending. The prophets of home always have so much to say about where we are at in any moment. Really like the blue broom pushing yesterday's crumbs. This is definitely a distilled moment, well written,<br /><br />ElizabethElizabethhttp://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2866329577695235177.post-49713911793864651522011-08-09T09:37:35.535+01:002011-08-09T09:37:35.535+01:00Thanks very much everyone, I have actually grown t...Thanks very much everyone, I have actually grown to like this one more after living with it for a while. :-)Susannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09581993763700327953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2866329577695235177.post-87040128243627043052011-08-08T23:18:56.444+01:002011-08-08T23:18:56.444+01:00I experienced a similar coalescence of the words, ...I experienced a similar coalescence of the words, Susannah, both this week and last. I love it when a poem comes together. ;)<br /><br />And yours is a wonderfully written story poem of a life derailed by circumstance.Traci Bhttp://poemflow.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2866329577695235177.post-7787123798789480372011-08-08T18:55:42.508+01:002011-08-08T18:55:42.508+01:00You took me back to my childhood, watching Mom cle...You took me back to my childhood, watching Mom cleaning up. She would stop and look out the window while pushing her hair back from her face. Now, I'm wondering what she was thinking during those times. A remarkable poem.Mike Patrickhttp://thepoetsquill.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2866329577695235177.post-76543878750547009702011-08-08T10:56:18.737+01:002011-08-08T10:56:18.737+01:00Nicely done and reminded me of Cinderella and her ...Nicely done and reminded me of Cinderella and her monotonous drudgery!! Someone trapped in a high-rise tower!!Nankahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05428694673909046094noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2866329577695235177.post-76840861958516134272011-08-07T23:58:05.119+01:002011-08-07T23:58:05.119+01:00I love it when they just all seem to 'fit'...I love it when they just all seem to 'fit' our thoughts.<br />Amazing and, a lovely read~!Daydreamertoohttp://daydreamertoo.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2866329577695235177.post-60474211752187577502011-08-07T21:46:46.454+01:002011-08-07T21:46:46.454+01:00Enjoyed reading your wordle poem. So many great im...Enjoyed reading your wordle poem. So many great images. I especially liked: "the cold cement of another day" and "the egg yellow sun crawling<br />over bland suburban rooftops, scars her morning with its slanted light."Mariannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17734900426632493796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2866329577695235177.post-32977279270376784422011-08-07T15:15:04.192+01:002011-08-07T15:15:04.192+01:00Brenda, thanks very much. I very much appreciate y...Brenda, thanks very much. I very much appreciate your feedback. :-)Susannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09581993763700327953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2866329577695235177.post-4877120853934160492011-08-07T15:13:46.982+01:002011-08-07T15:13:46.982+01:00Thanks Mary.
Yes, I agree that wordles are amaz...Thanks Mary. <br /><br />Yes, I agree that wordles are amazing in taking us places that we wouldn't go if left to our own devices. And I suspect you are right and that I will look at this later and know what it needs to feel 'complete.'<br /><br />Good to see you. xSusannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09581993763700327953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2866329577695235177.post-38863212645437549862011-08-07T14:58:28.943+01:002011-08-07T14:58:28.943+01:00You had a great attack plan with every day torment...You had a great attack plan with every day torments, and it rings true, Susannah. I'm with Viv,this is incredible writing to be proud of. I love "...pushing yesterdays crumbs....out onto the cold cement of another day." Just beautiful.brenda whttp://undercaws.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2866329577695235177.post-37915027303111424882011-08-07T14:51:59.987+01:002011-08-07T14:51:59.987+01:00I enjoyed your process notes on this. It is inter...I enjoyed your process notes on this. It is interesting to me how wordles sometimes write themselves. I think they are amazing in that I always seem to write something I would not have written otherwise! <br /><br />I liked yours a lot, as I could picture the scene your words created. My favorite lines were:<br /><br />Blue broom pushing yesterdays crumbs<br /><br />over her threshold, and out onto<br /><br />the cold cement of another day.<br /><br /><br />As far as this poem not giving you the sense that it is 'completed,' my guess is that you will look at it later and find the key to completion. That often happens with me!Maryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07366010389846904663noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2866329577695235177.post-44477088069403243152011-08-07T11:46:44.309+01:002011-08-07T11:46:44.309+01:00Thanks very much Viv. :-)
I think the feeling is ...Thanks very much Viv. :-)<br /><br />I think the feeling is that of not being settled. It comes when I have finished something and there isn't that sense of completion. There is much I like about this one but the ending is niggling at me, and wont give me that satisfying 'ah, it's finished' sigh, that I am looking for.Susannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09581993763700327953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2866329577695235177.post-2462574432607182722011-08-07T11:27:36.811+01:002011-08-07T11:27:36.811+01:00I can't for the life of me think why you are n...I can't for the life of me think why you are not pleased with this poem! I loved the way you used the words in metaphor, and the whole poem 'spoke' to me of the humdrum daily life of a woman.vivinfrancehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07388722600118753457noreply@blogger.com